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Tarot Beginners

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Yes, I actually DO own this shirt.

Yes, I actually DO own this shirt.

The most asked questions/topics when slinging tarot cards are pretty easy to pick out. It’s ALWAYS about either love or money (and sometimes if the client can try to fit both in in one reading, they do!). What is it about love and money that make them the most asked topics? I think the answer to this is simple: we all need both.

That’s right, love and money are two necessities that no modern human can live without. When I think of love, I think of companionship, while another person might think about a hot fling between the sheets. Universally, however, most of us just want to boil companionship down to one thing: the need to be both heard and understood for what we are saying/feeling.

So, in the topic of love, what’s the second most-asked question? “When is he/she coming back?” “When will they return to me?”

Really, people? There aren’t enough men and women in this world that you can look forward to meeting and all the wonderful new possibilities that could stem from meeting that person? You really HAVE to go back to that same old person that made your life miserable without even trying? There’s usually a reason the relationship ended in the first place!

Why is it that people often try a relationship more than once? It’s because of fear. It’s because of fear of the unknown, and the “what-ifs” that go along with seeking a new relationship are so terrifying that people refuse to seek a new partnership and go for one that’s already been proven to have a dead-end. Sad but true. People will go for the devil they do know versus the one that they don’t. Also, the nagging feeling of “but what if they were THE ONE, and I let them go?” comes up. This is where I have to break people’s bubbles and say,


*gasp!* What kind of self-respecting tarot reader would say that? Listen, when I talk about soul mates, I’m talking about what Anne of Green Gables called “kindred spirits”:

“A bosom friend—an intimate friend, you know—a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will, too. Do you think it’s possible?”—Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery

A meeting of someone that feels like you’ve known them forever. Perhaps it’s a past life reconnection, if you believe in that sort of thing (I do).

What I fear is that most people think soul mates are a band-aid. Someone that will come along and make everything going wrong in their life magically disappear. Real relationships don’t work this way. Romantic relationships don’t, and regular relationships sure as hell don’t. If anything, adding a new person into the mix only magnifies or reflects the problems that already exist within. Sometimes people come into your life to teach you a lesson… once the lesson is learned, they leave your life just as quickly as they came in.

I DO try to explain the concept of someone leaving your life when the lesson is learned, especially when the 8 of Cups appears in a reading. Unfortunately, when some people ask the question of “Will they come back?” they already have that “Yes” in mind… and are looking for a reader that will provide them the answer they want. If I see in the cards a “No”, they’re not likely to come back to my table again… they’re on to the next reader that might be able to provide them a Yes. Sad, but true. And I won’t provide a “Yes” if I’m not seeing it.

Some food for thought before I close: Why wait around for them to come back? Why go from reader to reader asking for the anticipated, “Yes, they will come back to you.” Why not take the initiative if you really want this person back in your life? Heck, if someone doesn’t want to be with you, or if the relationship ended, it’s probably for a good reason. However, waiting for that person to return really takes the power away from you, doesn’t it? I’m not advocating stalking that person, or unhealthy attachments. Just don’t be so passive. If it’s over, move on… find someone that you can share that “kindred spirit” vibe with. Move forward with your life.


T-shirt courtesy of

Join in the discussion: Do you seek psychic guidance when a relationship ends? Are you a “getting to the yes” type of client? Readers, how do you deal with the heartbreak, can’t move on clients? Leave your thoughts in the Comments section below.

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2 Responses to Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

  1. […] it comes to life, as my fellow tarot reader Hilary, the two most important things in most of our lives are love and money. Even today, during my […]

  2. […] A card you DON’T want to see when looking for love (or asking about the one that got away…): The 8 of Cups. See here for why: […]

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Tarot Beginners