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Are You a Spiritual Mean Girl?

mean girls

Photo Credit: mujerfria via Compfight cc

The other weekend as I was at a business retreat in another state, I found myself clenching my teeth and impatient with someone that was testing the boundaries of what I considered to be sacred space. This retreat was solely for women with heart-centered businesses in fields that are less than mainstream. I found this to be both ironic and poignant of a greater lesson that I keep on having to learn, which is I really need to just focus on me and my own work, and stop looking at other people’s proverbial papers.

After arriving at the airport, taking the shuttle to the retreat center, and settling in, the retreat was underway with the first class. My excitement soon gave way to irritation when I realized, little by little, that one woman seemed to be speaking up an awful lot. Over and over again, she monopolized the questions, rambled in her answers (which then turned into more questions), and was generally unaware that there were 19 other women in the room that wanted to learn and grow their businesses, too.

This behavior continued into almost every class being taught that weekend.

When one of the teachers generously offered to continue to work with whoever wanted to stick around after her class, the same woman monopolized that teacher’s time too, circling around the same subject with different wording.

When it was time for breakfast on the last morning, and I saw that this person had chosen to sit at my small table, I moved over to another table with people I hadn’t sat with yet. Hey, after all, I was told to mingle and not be clique-ish, right? Yes, I realize that excuse is/was as flimsy as the napkin on my lap during the meal.

It wasn’t until I was on my flight home that I realized something. It made me cringe to think it, but I couldn’t escape it.

I realized I was being a spiritual Mean Girl.

Ultimately, there are certain people, situations, and behaviors that will push our buttons. There are bound to be… there’s too many people in the world, and it’s a fact: you’re not going to get along with everyone.

However, that doesn’t mean you have to be unkind when asserting your boundaries. That doesn’t mean you have to act in the way that I did.

And it doesn’t have to be you that points out these behaviors in others, harping on their conversational or behavioral faux pauxs like an Avenging Metaphysical Miss Manners. If other people notice their behavior, fine. If they don’t, also fine. Why are you letting their behavior dictate how you feel and think, anyway? Eyes on your own paper, girlfriend.

Does my story hit a little too close to home for you? Here’s what to ask yourself when you realize you may be slipping into Mean Girl territory:

  • Do I need to walk away, or do I want to?
  • Have I practiced T.H.I.N.K.-ing before I speak/take action?
    • T : Is it TRUE?
    • H : Is it HELPFUL?
    • I : Is it INSPIRING?
    • N : Is it NECESSARY?
    • K : Is it KIND?
  • What is this person’s behavior of [insert irritant here] trying to teach me?
  • Is this person my light mirror or dark mirror? Do I practice or am I capable of their behavior in a similar or different situation?

Let’s bring this lesson back to tarot, shall we? Let’s play some tarot-flavored Mad Libs. Take out your favorite tarot deck, and pull a card (or more if you feel so inclined) for each bracketed item as follows:

What is it about [insert name of person or behavior] that caused me to [insert your reaction]? Tweet: What is it about ____ that caused me to ____? (a #tarot card fill-in) http://ctt.ec/SZNXq+ via @hsparry

Ultimately, we are all on our own journeys, and there are bound to be rough patches or people on that road. While I don’t subscribe to the theory “there’s a reason for everything,” I DO believe that there are teachable moments in most situations… and when we start down the “mean girl” path, we risk losing out on those lessons.
Blessings,
~*~Hilary~*~
www.tarotbyhilary.com

Join in the discussion: Caught yourself being a Spiritual Mean Girl? What have you done to remedy the situation? What lessons did you learn from it? Leave your thoughts in the Comments section below.

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One Response to Are You a Spiritual Mean Girl?

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