Get my monthly newsletter + receive my free e-book!
Tarot Beginners

Romance Advice from the Tarot: How I use tarot to guide my marriage


My husband has one rule for me about the tarot: I’m not allowed to read on our relationship.

Trust me, this becomes a pretty tricky proposition quickly when I sense a whiff of withholding information or coldness and I want to know why or what’s going on. It’s also the reason why he can never ever surprise me.

I get around this rule by doing exactly what I suggest to my clients that are jonesing to know what their partner is thinking or feeling: I reframe the question so that it’s empowering to me (and non-intrusive to him) by asking the tarot such questions as:

  • “What do I need to know right now about my relationship?”
  • “How can I strengthen my relationship with my husband?”
  • “What obstacles do I need to overcome to strengthen my relationship?”

via GIPHY [an accurate visual depiction of how our relationship works: according to him, I’m the purple one!]

When people find out that his wife’s a reader, it’s the number one question he gets asked: does she read for you? Usually, his answer is a quick no and a changing of the subject. Sometimes it’s a very honest “only about work”.

The thing is, he’s gunshy about readings because his first tarot reading ever was from me, and it spoke about a love triangle. Little did I know at the time that I was a part of that triangle (we were only friends at the time). Yes, me heap big psychic that had no idea he was crushing on me while with someone else. But that’s how it goes sometimes with tarot reading and objectivity: sometimes we can’t see what is right in front of us because we are so enmeshed in the situation that we don’t even realize we’re enmeshed. We also can’t recognize a similar situation happening in someone else’s life as being reflective of something that is happening in our own.

via GIPHY [luckily, we all know how that particular situation turned out…]

With Valentine’s Day coming up, the number of people inquiring about romance in the cards has increased. In the lead-up to February 14th, all hell breaks loose.


Dr. Zoidberg has this whole antiquated Hallmark card holiday pegged. We drive ourselves a bit nuts with all this focus on partnering up if we’re single, or bending ourselves out of shape to find the perfect gift for our significant other. Sometimes this race to show how much we care is sweet. Other times, it looks like this:


And not surprisingly, around this time of year, I have a lot of clients like this…

via GIPHY and to those kinds of clients, I say to go here…

As if a husband or wife was something one caught in a net, rat trap, roach motel, or with some sort of “formula” guaranteed for lifetime wedded bliss. Like many things in this life, there are no guarantees, shortcuts, or magic bullets. There’s trial and error, seeing how things go, and the very real possibility that some relationships are meant to be once in a lifetime… and some are incredibly temporary. Even handfastings used to be, and sometimes still are, for the time period of a year and a day (or another agreed upon time frame), before taking the plunge of committing to the promise of a lifetime together.

via GIPHY There’s nothing wrong with the temporary… in fact, it holds its own kind of beauty…

There’s also the option of letting yourself off the hook this Valentine’s Day and investing in your own self-care instead of gorging on heart-shaped chocolates. Personally, this is the kind of attitude I am trying to cultivate as we face our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple: letting go of expectations, hoping one will surprise the other with a lavish gift or a candlelit meal at a fancy restaurant, or assuming there is elaborate plotting going on secretly to blow me away with a scenario straight out of a rom-com movie. Which, let’s face it, I would have seen coming already if that were the case.


With all this in mind, I have asked the tarot what I should get my husband for Valentine’s Day, and as usual, the tarot has backed up my musings beyond words!

The Steampunk Tarot: The Lovers reversed, Queen of Pentacles reversed, 8 of Cups; #Truthbomb from Danielle LaPorte's #Truthbomb Deck Vol. 1

The Steampunk Tarot by Barbara Moore and Aly Fell: The Lovers reversed, Queen of Pentacles reversed, 8 of Cups; #Truthbomb from Danielle LaPorte’s #Truthbomb Deck Vol. 1


My interpretation: I need my actions to speak louder than my words, and I don’t need to call attention or put specific emphasis on “I am doing this for V-Day.” Rather than a large token of love that is cumbersome and materialistic, the cards are telling me that a shared experience, such learning a new activity or skill together or even taking a long stroll is a much better “gift” (Lovers reversed indicates to me not enough time spent together as of late). I need not spend a lot of money (with the Queen of Pentacles reversed), but I need to spend my time. And, if I do choose to buy something extravagant, this will only serve to push away rather than bring together (8 of Cups). In short, it is the thought that counts, and the #truthbomb of “less proving. more living.” sums up this idea succinctly!

The happiest of Heart Days to you!


If you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends using the handy-dandy buttons below.

Leave a reply

Get my monthly newsletter + receive my free e-book!
Tarot Beginners