Boundary Lessons

This chick needs to be slapped…

Over the past month, I have been hit with the same lesson over and over. I think it’s time I pass the lesson onto everyone that reads this blog, because it’s a painful lesson worth learning.

You have to teach people the way you want to be treated.

This leads to confrontation. This leads to setting boundaries. This leads to conflict. These are things that most people try to avoid because it makes life difficult in the short-term.

In the long-term, your life will be blessed with much less drama, so set those boundaries, and set them NOW.

Suggested guidelines:

1. You have the right to say NO. As my sister likes to say, “No is a complete sentence.” Be prepared for people to not like it, though.
2. A child will say that they can’t wait to grow up so they can “do whatever they want.” As adults we realize that the freedom to do whatever we want is a lot more limiting than we’d like to admit. Social constraints don’t permit us to “do whatever we want.” But remember… these are social constraints. If you feel more than a passing pull to do something, you probably should be doing it. Pretty girl sitting at the bar, clearly out of your league? Who’s to say that? Go talk to her!
3. Complaining about something doesn’t usually solve the problem itself. Suggesting a solution does. Not to mention if all you do is complain, that’s all people will see you as.
4. Say what you mean and mean what you say. People are only as good as their word, and if your word means nothing… guess what that means?
5. Avoid “self-fulfilling prophesies”. What is a self-fulfilling prophesy? Most of the time it is a negative end result that comes to pass because a person was so busy focusing on said end result instead of doing things to change it. A lot of these start with “I’ll never…” or “I can’t…” or “I’m not good enough to…” If you paint yourself into these corners, don’t be surprised that you end up exactly in the position you didn’t want to be in, but kept expressing that you would be.

Image: David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What boundary lessons have been coming up for you lately? How have you dealt with them? Share your experiences in the Comments section below.

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