It’s not about you. I’ve repeating this to myself a lot lately.
It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you.
Even and especially if I’m feeling defensive.
Breathe. Repeat again: It’s not about you.
I’ve been stalling on sending this email, because I am a white woman. I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing here, in this moment of pain for so many people. I don’t pretend to understand or know what it’s like to be a person of color. I don’t pretend to speak on behalf of anyone else but myself.
However… when no response is a response, it feels a shame to let this moment pass without saying something, even when I know I’m probably going to get things “wrong”.
In the words of Laura Belgray: “You’re going to get it wrong. I’m probably getting it wrong right now. If that’s scary for us, big whoop, it doesn’t compare with the scary of being judged for your skin color when you so much as walk into 7/11 for a Snapple. My best tip is to focus not on how you’re going to look (my achilles heel, sensitive ego here), but instead about how you’re going to make someone feel.”
If my silence is painful to others – then clearly I can ride out the discomfort of possibly saying something wrong instead of causing pain with my perfect silence.
So I’m choosing to speak to say that is not enough to be silent, it is not enough to not be racist. I’m going to educate myself in the privilege I was born with that came with the color of my skin… I’m going to do better… and I’m not going to expect marginalized and oppressed citizens to do the work for me (they have enough to do already!).
Melissa Cassera shared a wonderful list of resources here: Pressing Pause (with links to the Higher Learning Podcast, Karen Arrington’s book Your Next Level Life, Rachel Rodgers’ I Am Not Okay Blog and calling on other leaders to step up and do better, and Mireille Charper’s Instagram Post on practical tips to be an ally.
I think it’s a great place to start – if you’re anything like me and wondering where to start unraveling this insidious disease of racism in this country. I believe that like much of the work that needs to be done – it usually starts with you.
This newsletter looks a little different this month because I simply don’t want it to be an advertisement for me or my services… y’all know where to find me if you want a reading. Again – this isn’t about me.
Wishing you so much love, strength, health, confirmation, and validation.
Blessings,
~*~Hilary~*~
www.tarotbyhilary.com
hilary@tarotbyhilary.com
Book your reading here.
HILARY PARRY HAGGERTY is a tarot reader, witch, mentor, editor, and teacher. She has been reading tarot for over 21 years (13 years professionally). She was the winner of Theresa Reed’s (The Tarot Lady) Tarot Apprentice contest in 2011, and has taught classes on tarot and spell-work at The Tarot School’s annual tarot conference Readers Studio and at Brid’s Closet Beltane Festival. She writes a weekly blog on tarot at her website www.tarotbyhilary.com and has been featured in Maxim Magazine and BuzzFeed.
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© Hilary Parry Haggerty | Tarot by Hilary
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