📸 Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
“You were an experiment.”
Ugh ugh ugh… ewww ewww EW! I sat there horrified at the screen, screaming “oh my god” and “ewww” at the top of my lungs, hollering so loud that my husband ran into the living room.
“What’s the matter?”
I point to the screen. “He catfished over 400 girls, and he just called it an ‘experiment,’ ew ew ewwwwwww!”
I was so disturbed but I couldn’t rip my eyes away from the unfolding story that was Catfish: The TV Show… a story that involved reverse photo lookups (there’s such a thing?) and plenty of unraveling devious behavior and photoshopping and faking snapchat videos (again, I ask, you can do that?).
The really mind-blowing fact in that particular episode was the LENGTHS that people go to to make this person seem “real.” The photoshopping blew my mind: when the catfish’s victim in question had her friends over who was suspicious this guy even existed, they asked him to do a series of things in a photo to prove he was really him: hold up one finger with a sign in which he had written each of the friends’ names on. Smart girls. Sadly, the catfish was smarter, and the photoshopping was so clean that he even got the SHADOWS thrown off by the sign correct when faking the photo.
The basic concept behind catfishing is not really a new one: the methodologies and techniques may be, but there is something about pretending to be somebody else to be liked or accepted is at the root of any catfisher (or so I would assume).
And though Catfish: The TV Show mostly focuses on online relationships of a romantic variety, unfortunately these concepts are very much at work in the business world too, and sadly, the metaphysical world. My very own business mentor, Theresa Reed, dealt with a Catfish, and has great advice on dealing with/spotting one. Remember that this post is over 4 years old now, but it’s still good advice for trusting your gut when you are feeling something is not-quite-right.
The bottom line: People don’t want to work with or deal with someone they don’t know. The more they think they know you, the more they will want to work with you. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being real, and conveying that realness online.
While I love the concept and admire the slick and carefully curated photos I see on pinterest and instagram of gorgeous crystal grids, a shaft of sunlight beaming beautifully onto a meditation cushion in a sacred space, and lush fabric tablecloths with crisp-looking tarot cards on top, my own photos are showing my messy altar with incense dust all over it and nicked-at-the-edges tarot cards placed gently atop an unmade bed.
Why? Because that’s the reality of my life. And my messy life is not meant to be disrespectful, but it sure as hell is more honest than me spending hours of my time carefully posing a tarot card until it’s perfectly aligned. I’d much rather give you the photo (however imperfect) and the interpretation. You know, what you need. Screw the pretty: I want the real.
It sounds completely crazy, but the crazier thing to me is the wasted time pretending to be someone else. Why the hell would you want to, and to that level? How could this person’s time be better used?
So rest assured, if you need me to assure you that I AM who I say I am, I’d be happy to provide you proof, even if it means standing on my head whistling the National Anthem while holding up a list of your friend’s names with my feet and holding up three fingers. (Please don’t ask me to do it, though: I don’t think I can manage a headstand unassisted. Or at all.)
Much love and blessings,
~*~Hilary~*~
www.tarotbyhilary.com
hilary@tarotbyhilary.com
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HILARY PARRY HAGGERTY is a tarot reader, witch, mentor, editor, and teacher. She has been reading tarot for over 21 years (13 years professionally). She was the winner of Theresa Reed’s (The Tarot Lady) Tarot Apprentice contest in 2011, and has taught classes on tarot and spell-work at The Tarot School’s annual tarot conference Readers Studio and at Brid’s Closet Beltane Festival. She writes a weekly blog on tarot at her website www.tarotbyhilary.com and has been featured in Maxim Magazine and BuzzFeed.
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© Hilary Parry Haggerty | Tarot by Hilary
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