When I have conversations with other tarot readers, the most interesting results come out of them. Namely, we’re usually experiencing the same frustrations… and that is sometimes the tarot is not as literal as we would like it to be.
Much like the phenomena of the Happy Squirrel Card becoming an actual tarot card in some tarot decks after the reference to it in The Simpsons, why can’t we have some additional cards that may make this esoteric task of tarot reading just a little easier?
Here’s my attempt at doing just that.
The BS card: when someone is a lying sack of shit, this card will come up to say so.
Corresponding real tarot cards: the Moon, the 7 of Swords
Everything’s fine (no really, it is) card: when there is absolutely nothing to worry about. No seriously, why did you ask me for a reading? It’s all good, baby.
Corresponding real tarot cards: 10 of Cups, The Sun, 9 of Cups
He/She’s Married (so cut that shit out) card: someone you like is already committed (to someone else). Move along, nothing to see here.
Corresponding real tarot cards: 2 of Cups or 2 of Cups (reversed) [as in, there’s a powerful connection, but it ain’t to you!], the Devil, 3 of Swords, 8 of Cups
The Repeat Card: because you’ve asked this damn question 80 times already this session, and the cards didn’t give you the answer you liked.
Real cards: The Tower, the 10 of Swords, Death (and none of this cards are interpreted at face value… they are STOP ASKING you nitwit cards)
The following two suggestions for cards comes from Autumn Fae Willow. Thank you for your contributions to this fun topic!
You don’t really want to know, please ask me something else: why did you have to ask me? why do I have to try to explain this to you?
Corresponding real tarot cards: The Tower, 3 of Swords, The Devil (in some cases)
The Bitch, You Need to Work On Your Shit: sorry you wanted something “new and exciting” you get self-growth instead because my deck really doesn’t like you.
Corresponding real tarot cards: 7 of Swords, The Moon, Six of Cups (sometimes…)
This one’s courtesy of my lovely husband:
The I’m not your therapist card, the “for entertainment purposes only” card.. (which don’t have corresponding real tarot cards in my opinion, but please feel free to chime in with suggestions in the Comments section!)
And let’s round out this list with the final three that I don’t think really require an explanation:
The Finger:
The Bitch Slap:
The Facepalm:
Blessings,
~*~Hilary~*~
www.tarotbyhilary.com
hilary@tarotbyhilary.com
Book your reading here.
HILARY PARRY HAGGERTY is a tarot reader, witch, mentor, editor, and teacher. She has been reading tarot for over 21 years (13 years professionally). She was the winner of Theresa Reed’s (The Tarot Lady) Tarot Apprentice contest in 2011, and has taught classes on tarot and spell-work at The Tarot School’s annual tarot conference Readers Studio and at Brid’s Closet Beltane Festival. She writes a weekly blog on tarot at her website www.tarotbyhilary.com and has been featured in Maxim Magazine and BuzzFeed.
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© Hilary Parry Haggerty | Tarot by Hilary
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